Aelva

My name's Aelva, and this is Svetlana. Beautiful isn't she... want to know how I got her? Shh of course you do. It all started when I was born, a hands- what? Yes we gotta start there. A handsome young boy raised by his moms who loved him very much. One of them was the chief huntress of our clan, the other the official translator of the Jarl. So you could say I got pretty lucky. A few years passed before our family grew larger with the arrival of my little sister Sigi, but we'll get to that later.


Life was good for me in the Ulfheim. As is the custom, I was raised alongside the other cubs born in the same spring. We were taught survival, hunting and fighting skills, and spent almost all of our time together in hopes that we would eventually become a strong pack for our clan to rely on. We would go hunting for months on end, bringing home goats, deer, boars... The best was taking down Giant Elks, they put up quite a fight but with my pack-mates and I working as one, they didn't stand a chance.

The God Fenrir is the one who gave my people the skin-changer blood, in exchange for our worship and our respect of his laws. During our teenage years, my pack-mates' and my shape-changing abilities started to manifest. Uncontrollably at first, so you can imagine how glad we were to have each other to help. Remember how fun puberty is? Now add changing into a freaked out wolf with poor coordination every now and then. Good times.

As we got older, we did everything together. We ate, we drank, we patrolled our borders, we fucked, we practiced fighting... Hm? What was that middle part you ask? We patrolled our borders I just said it try to keep up.


Svetlana came to me on the worst day of my life. You'd think it was a dark and ice-cold day like most are in the Ulfrheim, but it happened in the summer when the air is warm and the sun doesn't set.

After a long hunting trip, coming back to our little home in the outskirts of the village, I was this time greeted with an empty house. Mom probably hadn't returned from her patrol yet, and Ma could be held up in the Keep with council business. I yelled for Sigi, but no answer. It was four springs ago, and I remember everything so clearly. Letting go of my equipment on the table and looking around, happy to be home. Checking out the window to the edge of the woods and noticing my sister's gardening tools on the ground (barely anything had time to grow here, but by the Gods did she try!)... Except her stuff clearly had been dropped, not put down. I rushed outside to get a closer look, and saw the trampled grass, and the blood tracks leading to the forest. Confusion turned into panic as I changed into my beast form and ran and ran util I finally found her.

I loved my sister. She asked for a bedtime story every night, she liked to ride on my shoulders, her hair was always a mess from playing outside... she was so kind and so curious and now she was gone.

Throughout the village, my pack heard my howl and knew something was wrong. They came to get me and took me back home. All I remember from the following hours is the constant image of the bite marks on Sigi's skin, the bloody paw prints in the dirt, and how much I wanted to rip the beast who did this to shreds. Wolves seldom get desperate enough to attack us Fenrirborn, this one would pay for it with it's life and I'd make sure of it.


On the third day, when the funeral rites were done I insisted I wanted to be left alone. With only revenge in mind, I took the battleaxe that Ma had enchanted with a protection rune. That weapon had never been wielded yet, and was supposed to be used for keeping our home safe. Ma had taught me the ways of the runes so I engraved my very first before heading to the woods once more, Svetlana in hand.

Now, you have to understand that the laws of Fenrir prohibit very few things. Unfortunately for me, one of these things is the unnecessary killing of wolves. Especially in such a cruel and gruesome manner as what I did to that animal and her whole pack.

It did not take long for our scouts to find me and realize what happened. I was put in front of the council before the blood on my face had time to dry. The Jarl went on and on about our laws like she didn't realize how little I cared. I butchered that filthy beast and I'd do it again. She told me I was to leave the Ulfrheim, only to return when and if I could present our God with a worthy offering and obtain his forgiveness. I interrupted her.

- FUCK THAT WOLF, FUCK THE GODS, AND FUCK YOU!

Eloquent, I know. Thinking about it now I feel bad for Ma, having to watch her handsome boy being dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the Keep.

They did not allow me to say goodbye to my parents nor to my pack, and I suspect Mom would only learn about what happened upon her return. With solely what I had on me, I was escorted down the road, through the woods, to the edge of our territory.

For the first time in my whole life, I was left completely alone.


A few years have passed now. Even with all the new places I've seen and the people I've met, I can tell you right now I will not find peace until I'm back in my homeland, where I belong.

Even though I only remember parts of it, one of my best nights in the Ulfrheim happened in the spring which would mark the start of our 20th year. Our Equinox, as my clan called it. The ceremony itself was simple, and quite dull: We had to take a vow in front of the council to uphold the laws of Fenrir, and offer a sacrifice of prey in his temple. Then, we could reveal the pack marking we chose for ourselves which, with ink and needle, would become a permanent part of each of us. I didn't dread the pain that much but shit, on the back of our necks, really? I guess the point was to make it abundantly clear that ours is a lifetime commitment.

A speech, an offering, a tattoo, and out of the temple we go! Then, then, the real fun begins. Each year, the pack coming of age celebrates, and throughout the town people join them. I'm not sure how or why it started, but now it's become kind of a rite of passage, as well as a way to start the new spring in good spirits.

Last year's celebrations got a bit out of hand, one of their pack members managed a third degree burn after some inappropriate dancing near one of the bonfires, and I've lost count of how many needed to be brought to a healer for alcohol poisoning. That's why my moms and Sigi would head back home right after the ceremony. It was kind of far from the festivities, so I thought it best for me to spend the night in our pack's cabin in the middle of town instead.

Stepping out of the temple, my neck hurt like a bitch. The town was lit with more torches and lanterns than on any other night of the year. People who weren't at the ceremony had already started with the music and the dancing and the drinking. They cheered when they saw us and passed some bottles. Folke turned to me and smiled before uncorking hers with her teeth.

- Alright Aelva, try not to die!

Yeah ok, my 95lbs packmate can hold her alcohol better than I can, sue me.


I'm lying down next to a fire. I can feel its warmth, but not enough that it's uncomfortable. Am I in the street? No wait, sand, I'm on the beach. My head's on someone's lap, lots of noise all around. Drunken conversations, cheering, laughing, people are having fun. I can hear Haftka dealing with some bloke's mediocre attempt at flirting not too far. He's wasting his time I can tell you that much, she's got zero interest in him, or anyone else.

- So you never tried? How do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?

- Hey you're right! How do you know you won't like me to rip out your throat if you don't try it?

Savage. She's got all of her twin's sarcasm with none of the chill. I chuckle, and hear Elenor's voice right above me.

- He's alive folks.

I stand up and pick up the nearest tankard from someone's hand.

- And I'm far from done!

- Aelva you're such a fucking lightweight you can't-

- Not with that attitude!

I chug while people cheer, and immediately black out again.


We're all dancing around one of the bonfires, at least I think my packmates are all there? I could check but I'm not sure I can count to seven. Folke and Elenor are right beside me, and I can see Liebel and Evöra, who can't keep their hands off each other, on the other side of the fire. Pavael's literally got a bottle in each hand and he's slow dancing (to upbeat music) with his eyes closed. Hang in there bud.

Fire's pretty big, makes me think of someone who got injured with something like that... Maybe last year? Who knows, I sure don't. I don't know anything right now. I bump into something (someone?) and hear Jötun lash out.

- Watch your fucking step pretty boy!

Was that supposed to be an insult? Fuck yeah I'm a pretty boy. Tell me I'm the prettiest boy you've ever seen. I bump into him again. Just for kicks, because I like to mess with him and he gets annoyed so easily.

- For fuck's sake Aelva are you doing this on purpose?

- Wanna f-fight? Let's take this outside...

- We're on the beach.

- The stars are so bright, the moon looks so nice, hold my hand.

He lets out the most exasperated sigh I've ever heard in my life while Folke and Haftka drag me back to the other dancers.


I'm sitting near another fire, on the other side of town. How did I get here? Beats me. Someone yells.

- AERE TIL ULFRHEIM!

Voices all around answer the same, a wave of echoes sweeps through the town as everyone raises their drinks. When it quiets down, I turn to Jötun and hit him with the best line my inebriated self can come up with.

- What’s a handsome p-place like you doing in a g-guy like this?

Suave.

- Are you trying to flirt with me?

- Have been for the past year but thanks for noticing.


I'm looking at the moon, struggling on my feet to keep my balance. Elenor tugs on the back of my shirt to get my attention.

- Don’t stare for too long or else you'll remember-

She screams into the sky.

- THAT NOTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD MAKES SENSE.

I laugh because she's right.


So many things happening, but I can’t for the life of me remember in what order. Folke carries her twin on her back. A tankard is dropped in the sand. Evöra and Liebel hold hands. Someone cries and a friend rubs their back. Cheers and yelling. One of the musicians gives her instrument to a passerby to join the dancing. Jötun swears for some reason. Someone helps me take off my shirt. Pavael throws something small into the water. Elenor laughs. The rest is too faded to recall.


I sat up way too fast for someone who just had the night I had. I got a bit dizzy, and stayed still for a few minutes, re-acclimating myself to what it meant to be a functional person. The sun peered through the windows of our pack's cabin. My neck still hurt from the marking, but other than that I felt perfectly fine.

I took a look around me and noticed that three of my packmates and I had just slept on some pelts and cushions in our common space. Like, our beds were right downstairs yet somehow we didn't manage to make it.

I stood up, which woke the others. Elenor let out an oh so graceful swear that sounded more like a grunt. Jötun pushed Folke off of him and pressed his hands to his temples. She hit the pelts with a thud, opened her eyes as narrow as she could and mumbled.

- I'm either dying or already dead.

Who's the fucking lightweight now huh.

- Well I don't know about you guys, but I'm feeling great! I'm heading off to get breakfast do you want anything?

- I hate you and everything you stand for.

I pet her head while she grumbled something else I didn't understand. I put on some pants, went into the bathroom, and looked at my reflection in the water basin before washing my face. Hair in a mess, hickeys all over, and bags under my eyes like you wouldn't believe. Cute.

As soon as I was done I went down the stairs and saw that everyone had made it back here the night before. Haftka was sleeping soundly in her bed, Liebel and Evöra on a couch (again, our beds are right there, people), and poor Pavael was hunched over a clay pot, wearing nothing but his binder and underwear. Ah yes, the rejuvenating sound of someone throwing up. Good morning me.

- Hey bud, do you need something?

He spit a few times and answered with his most pitiful voice.

- I need you to never let me drink again.

- You say that every time.

- Yes but now I mean it.

- You also say that every time.

I opened a window to let the cold air in. From here I could see the Moon Bridge which inspired our pack marking. The cabin was a mess. I started to clean up a bit, and heard Liebel yawn before getting up and helping me. We were used to do this together, as we were always the first to wake up since she never drank, and I somehow never felt hungover. I picked up an empty wine bottle.

- I think I remember someone dared me to chug all of this.

- No, Jötun said "give me back my bottle" then you said "you're not the boss of me" then you chugged all of it.

I pressed my lips together, yeah that did sound like something I'd do. When we were done cleaning we started up breakfast and one by one our packmates joined us. At that time I had no idea how precious these moments were. I don't think it would have changed something if I did, but still.

I didn't always have seven packmates. When I was younger, I had eight. Most of the time, when people gave their children away to form a pack, they renounced all links to them and entrusted the council with their care. In some cases, like mine, an arrangement was made so that the child could grow up alongside both their parents and packmates. However, in the eyes of little six years old me, all it meant was that every afternoon my friends had free, I had to study.

Our small house smelled of firewood and the tea leaves Ma hanged out to dry. People were not so fond of tea as they were of mead in the Ulfrheim, but she was born in a neighboring territory where this was common practice.

- Ma why do i have to know all of this, the others don't.

- I know runes can seem boring, but I wouldn't be teaching you what I know if I didn't think it was important. They hold great power for those who would learn to use them. Do you understand, pup?

I didn't, but I wanted her to be proud of me, so I nodded.

- Okay, now which one is this?

- That's feoh.

- Yes, doesn't mean much when we use it to write a sentence, but on its own it could represent wealth, or greed. And what about this one?

- That's odal, it means home.

I had barely finished my sentence that Jötun barged into our house, letting the door swing and the cold air in. He ran straight up to us and slammed his hands on the table, like someone who had something of utmost importance to say.

- Aelva are you done? We're playing hunt at the Moon Bridge, and if you're not there Elenor and Arno are gonna win again!

- He's done, we were just finishing up. But it's getting late so I'd rather you boys stay near the house instead, okay?

We could play at the bottom of a well for all I cared, finally some free time! I grabbed my coat and followed Jötun outside. He told me we could still go to the bridge but alas, I was a good boy who listened to his Ma, so we decided to build a fort near my house instead.

Honestly, I can't explain why it was so fun? Patting on layers over layers of snow until our clothes were soaked and our noses frozen, building a fort that we would then promptly stomp down just for kicks.

He threw a snowball at me and I was right in the middle of gathering snow in my palm to retaliate when it happened. My breath was cut short and I immediately took my hand to my chest. I couldn't, and still can't, think of anything remotely close to the pain I felt all of a sudden. I looked up to see Jötun, on his knees in the snow, eyes wide and in tears. I was young, but old enough to understand that something had gone horribly wrong.

- MA!

She came running out of the house, a battleaxe materializing in her hand. Obviously she must've thought we were in danger. I thought I was too. Neither Jötun nor I could understand, let alone articulate what was happening to us. She threw her weapon in the snow and carried us in her arms, back to the safety of our home.


We learned the next day that Arno had drowned. He fell off the bridge and through the thin layer of ice that covered the river. When the current drags you away as soon as you hit the water, you get trapped under the ice. For most, like my packmate, it's a death sentence.

I felt crippled, like I had lost a limb I didn't know I had. The others must've felt that way too, things were awfully silent for an awfully long while.

They looked so defeated but I was pissed. With all the rage my child heart could muster up, I wanted to kick our caregiver's ass for letting this happen, I wanted to kick the river's ass, I wanted to kick my own ass.

Makes no sense but neither did the way we all felt. I woke up one morning and saw light downstairs, Ma was working on something. Rubbing my eyes, I went to her and caught a glimpse of the weapon she had in her hands the night Arno died.

- Come here pup.

She put me on her knees and I ran my fingers across the axe's engravings. From my then limited knowledge, I could still recognize a few symbols as protection runes.

- The pack life is not what I would have chosen for you, but your Mom was adamant in volunteering. I think she sees something in it that I don't.

She sighed.

- I've engraved this so it can be used to protect us and our home. You're still young but maybe there will come a day where you will need it. For now...

She put me on the ground then hung the axe back over the fireplace. Slowly, the sun was starting to rise and light peeked through the curtains.

- Do you want to start the chapter about elemental runes?

I didn't, but I wanted her to be proud of me, so I nodded.